emilymcb

January photos

2012-01-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

Amelia's birthday

Visiting friends who camped out for a basketball game (what a bunch of crazies :)

Green smoothies!

teaching

2012-01-24T10:24:00.003-07:00

The past few weeks have left me feeling overwhelmed, and maybe a little unconfident in my ability to be a good teacher in the future. I feel strongly about teaching, but taking all of these classes on how to teach grammar and how to teach writing and how to teach reading and trying to remember all of the bazillion things we talk about in class...it's just kind of a lot to handle.

Today I went to an actual classroom (Springville Junior High) for the first time this semester, and I feel soooo much better. I watched my mentor teacher and thought "I can do this," "this will be fun," and "this will be hard, sometimes, but this will be worth it."

"Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose"

2012-01-23T12:10:00.000-07:00

Why is this the best show ever?

The acting is great. The music is great. The storylines are great. It feels real. Coach and Tami have the best marriage I have ever seen on television (a realistic marriage, at that), which is so refreshing since almost every other show seems to poke fun at marriage in one way or another.

It's about heart. It's about love and family and community. It's about giving of yourself to help other people grow.

I have never teared up so much throughout a whole tv show. And I also laughed a bunch, too.

When I came out of my bedroom last night and explained my red, teary eyes, my roommate asked if the finale was sad. The thing is, it wasn't—it was perfect. It was definitely the most satisfying series finale I have ever seen.

I think the funniest thing about Friday Night Lights being my favorite show of all time is that I don't even really like football (although I now understand it 10x better than I did when I started).

I found this description of the show in a review I read (which has spoilers, so don't read it if you haven't seen it), and it sums up how I feel better than I know how to say:

"There's a level of honest, raw humanity in "Friday Night Lights" that few TV dramas have ever achieved. Over and over and over, the show and its characters wore their hearts on their sleeves, in a way that somehow made them more solid than characters on other series of comparable quality.

"That rawness made the show great, but it was also likely one of the aspects (along with the high school football setting) that kept the show from being a hit, as most viewers don't turn to TV to be confronted by emotions as powerful as the ones this series brought up. Watching "Friday Night Lights" often felt like being put through a ringer. You felt like part of the town, and the team, and you bled with the characters and cried with them, and on occasion you got to soar with them, too. And a lot of people simply don't want to get that close to the fictional characters they watch - don't feel that experiencing the devastating lows is worth also getting to share in the glorious highs."

Yes, it is just a tv show. But I think it is a tv show that rises to the occasion, a tv show that exemplifies why I am passionate about the humanities and all forms of art.

Does anyone want to move to Texas with me?

Yex

2012-01-12T21:32:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling a little sentimental today because this little boy

is all grown up and got his mission call! He will be serving in the Argentina Buenos Aires West mission (he reports in May and is speaking Spanish).

I couldn't be more proud of him.

LOTR Love

2012-01-11T12:22:00.000-07:00

"I can't do this, Sam."

"I know. It's all wrong. By rights, we shouldn't even be here . . . but we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."

"What are we holding onto, Sam?"

"There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."

New Years in Orange County

2012-01-10T12:19:00.000-07:00

last-minute trip to California with Steph • afternoon on the beach • "Meow" • time with the Andre family • New Years party at Dave & Busters • 80 degree weather

Christmas Break

2012-01-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

bronchitis and pneumonia :( • making fudge, sugar cookies, and toffee• learning how to make the family tradition of Carmellos with Aunt "Sushi" • progressive dinner tradition • Lord of the Rings marathon• hiking Camelback mountain• sleeping in• Monopoly Deal• homemade pretzels • taking Murphy for walks and car rides• back massages • drinks from QT

we love this dog

2012-01-06T15:39:00.002-07:00

dinner with the fam

2012-01-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

Camelback Mountain

2012-01-04T21:27:00.000-07:00

Arizona is just beautiful in the winter-time. Also, it's nice being used to higher elevation because it makes the lung part of hiking a piece of cake. (I'm still a little bit of a baby about climbing on things, but I did it anyway!)

The McBride Family Singers

2011-12-29T10:05:00.000-07:00

Every Christmas Eve, we have this progressive dinner with the McBride/Mooney families, and at each house, the hosting family shares a talent. This year, all of us kids decided to team up and quickly throw together the Barenaked Ladies' version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen." It turns out that my brothers have grown up to have really great voices, and Danny rocks the cello. Enjoy :)

favorites of the year

2011-12-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

songs

George Michael, "Faith"
Katie Herzig, "Hey Na Na"
Adele, "Rolling in the Deep" (before I heard it 5,000 times on the radio)
Andrew Belle, "Static Waves"
Billy Joel, "Sleeping with the Television On"
Brett Dennen, "Sydney"
The Civil Wars, "Poison and Wine"
Katie Herzig, "Lost and Found"
Landon Pigg & Lucy Schwartz, "Darling I Do"
Mazzy Star, "Fade Into You"
One Republic, "Good Life"
Taylor Swift, "Ours"
Jaymay, "Gray or Blue"

bands/artists

Katie Herzig
Fleetwood Mac
Billy Joel
Noah & the Whale
Andrew Belle
Bombay Bicycle Club
Bon Iver
Mat Kearney
Brett Dennen
Adele

movies

Harry Potter 7.2
The King's Speech
Midnight in Paris
Crazy Stupid Love
Life in a Day
Adjustment Bureau
The Muppets
Limitless
Waiting for Superman

tv shows

Friday Night Lights
Downton Abbey
Freaks and Geeks
Arrested Development
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Gilmore Girls

books

Unwind
Persepolis
One Day
Little Women rereading (I was SOO upset about the whole Laurie/Jo debacle)
Out of the Dust
The Book of Lost Things

foods

Thai curry (any kind)
frozen yogurt
grapes
black bean burgers from Costco
horchata
Pad Thai

trips

San Francisco
Disneyland
Oceanside

lessons learned/re-learned

I am a big crybaby
I need to leave more time in my life for people
Although I sometimes think I can do life all on my own, it really is better when I let other people in
I am so much happier when I am learning and progressing
Life is best when I am close to my Savior

2011--the year in review

2011-12-15T10:29:00.001-07:00

I blogged a lot in January, but not much about my actual life. My roommates and I watched Coraline and discovered the mysterious look-a-like door in my bedroom. We also really enjoyed the piano in our house and celebrated M(I)LK Day. I had a fun weekend in Provo, which included all of us girls having our own coaches while playing Super Smash Bros. I worked a lot.

February was quite the exciting month. I was accepted back to BYU to start in the fall, and I went to a BYU basketball game to get a taste of Jimmer-mania. My family and I went on a quick trip to Disneyland (where 9-year-old Ryan demonstrated how much braver he is than me by not crying on the Tower of Terror). I celebrated my 22nd birthday in Salt Lake and in Provo, too, and Mom sent me an awesome birthday package. Lacey and I watched Downton Abbey, and I listened to a lot of Billy Joel.

It was still snowy and cold in March, and I mostly just went to work and hung out at home. I made a paper chain counting down to Harry Potter 7.2, the roommates and I watched lots of movies, and I found a lot of funny things online. I did venture out to go to the Utah symphony, which was truly wonderful.

April marked a year since graduation, and was my last month living in Salt Lake! Mom came to visit for a weekend, which was lots of fun. I played the piano at Cristina's wedding. I spent a lot of time with my roommates because I was moving soon.

In May I was living back in Provo in my new apartment, but still working for Church Welfare. I commuted on the bus, and went to bed suuuper early to get up in time. I discovered the blessing of earplugs. On my lunch breaks, I enjoyed wandering through Temple Square to admire the tulips. I finished up my job at Church Welfare and said goodbye to all of my new friends. I also did lots of fun social things in Provo, like going to a rooftop concert. I loved that it rained all month long.

I started work back at the BYU Preprofessional Advisement Center in June. (Best job ever!) The weather was lovely, and I enjoyed sleeping with my window open every night. Taylor, on his mission in the Dominican Republic, was injured so badly that he had to come home early and stay in the ICU for a week. I, thankfully, got to fly home and spend a few days with the family. It was a really scary time (but, he is doing great now). I realized I have some really wonderful friends.

I started off July with a trip to Oceanside, CA. I drove and met my family there, and we stayed on the beach for a week. It was the first time our whole family had been together in almost two years! And it was realllly fun. Danny drove back to Utah with me, and I showed him around Provo and BYU before dropping him off at EFY. We saw the new Harry Potter movie when his week was over (which I cried like a baby through). I also upgraded my computer to a new 15" Macbook Pro, which is currently my most prized possession.

I went on another fun California trip in August, but this time to Sacramento/San Francisco. It was sooo fun, even though we spent a lot of time driving from city to city. I thought Monterey was especially cool. I also went home for a few days and babysat while my parents went on an anniversary trip. I tried to soak up my last few weeks of not having homework before I started school again.

School took over my life starting in September. I spent twenty hours a week at work, twenty hours a week shadowing teachers at a junior high and a high school, and then whatever time was left on my other classes. Before things got too crazy, I performed at an acoustic night at my friend's house in Salt Lake. I was obsessed with how beautiful the mountains were.

In October, it was reconfirmed to me time and time again that I am passionate about teaching—even though school was kind of killing me. My family came up for General Conference, and we went to a football game and stayed in Deer Valley (we missed Alex!). Halloween time was fun, with a ward murder mystery dinner party, a "haunted" dinner party at some friends' house, scary movies, and pumpkin pancakes. Even though I didn't really have a costume this year, it probably was my favorite Halloween since moving away from home.

I was busy with school still in November, including keeping up with the reading-two-books-a-week assignment for my young adult literature class. I went to another football game, this time with really awesome, 3rd-row seats. I talked everyone's ear off about how amazing the tv show Friday Night Lights is. My family was lucky enough to have me home for an entire week for Thanksgiving (haha), and we had a really great time.

December involved finishing up the semester and being really, really cold. I scored a 4.0 for the semester! I grew to love my roommates even more, and had fun with friends, and went to lots of parties before heading back to Arizona. In Gilbert, we had a wonderful Christmas and are currently enjoying the rest of Christmas Break :)

See 2010 here.

platypus venn diagram

2011-12-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

From here.

This is one of the funniest things I've seen all year.

Like, roll-on-the-floor, laughing, crying, almost-pee-your-pants funny.

Except everytime I show it to someone, they don't think it's funny.

What the?

William Baer's "Snowflake"

2011-12-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

Timing's everything. The vapor rises
high in the sky, tossing to and fro,
then freezes, suddenly, and crystalizes
into a perfect flake of miraculous snow.
For countless miles, drifting east above
the world, whirling about in a swirling free-
for-all, appearing aimless, just like love,
but sensing, seeking out, its destiny.
Falling to where the two young skaters stand,
hand in hand, then flips and dips and whips
itself about to ever-so-gently land,
a miracle, across her unkissed lips:
as he blocks the wind raging from the south,
leaning forward to kiss her lovely mouth.

(Found in Good Poems for Hard Times)

Amy Grant

2011-12-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time I blogged about my favorite Christmas music. And, although Ella is still my favorite (and I'm really enjoying the new She & Him album), Amy Grant deserves some credit.

I will always hold Amy Grant close to my heart. It helps that

Without fail, her Christmas songs make me nostalgic for past years of decorating the tree and unwrapping presents.
Dad and Mom took us to Amy Grant's Christmas concert in Phoenix when I was 11. From what I remember, it was pretty cool.
One of my very first cds was Heart in Motion (a non-Christmas album!) which includes the synthesizer-gem, "Baby Baby."
When I was in junior high, I once had a nightmare that Dad left Mom for Amy Grant. It was really, really awful (this probably shouldn't be a reason for me to hold Amy Grant close to my heart, but who cares).
I have to admit, I still think she is a good songwriter . . . Behind the Eyes does get some iPod play a couple times a year, on those days when I am reminiscing and mourning the moving-on part of life.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-29T10:22:00.001-07:00

being home for a whole week • roadtripping with Justin and Hilary • 75 degrees and sunny • shopping for sweaters • Mesa temple • massage chairs at Costco • Joe's Farm Grill and other restaurants • riding bikes • Quiktrip • taking Murphy (who sounds like a squeaker toy) for walks • Arrested Development with Alex • Downton Abbey with Mom • homemade curry, homemade gyros • laughing my head off with Diana and the rest of the fam at the Muppets • sleeping while brothers, cousins, & friends went Black Friday shopping • running along the canal • avoiding homework • Thanksgiving dinner outside at the Mooneys' • Ranch Market's horchata • Just Dance 3 • Hugo • hot tub • lots of cooking • lots of laughing • first Thanksgiving together since Taylor got home/last Thanksgiving together before Alex takes off for his mission

So much love.

BYU football 2011

2011-11-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

Welp, I went to two games this year. Wahoo!

Partido numero uno con la familia:

Partido numero dos (courtesy of Schmace Face . . . look how close we were!):

day of thanks

2011-11-25T09:25:00.001-07:00

I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for eternal relationships, because it's nice to have some form of stability in my life. I'm thankful for extended family, too (getting the McBride/Mooney families together is always such a good time).

I'm thankful that my siblings and I are growing up—and staying friends. It is so fun asking each other for fashion advice and going to the temple together.

I'm thankful for Gilbert, Arizona, in November. It is paradise here—even when it occasionally smells like dairy farm. I'm thankful that we ate Thanksgiving dinner outside yesterday.

I'm thankful for my job, that I'm in the education program, for my ward, and for my roommates. I'm grateful for all my friends, but especially those close few who I can call anytime about anything. I'm thankful for laughing.

I'm thankful for this past year. It was my hardest year yet, but I learned so much about myself and about my relationship with the Lord. And going along with that, I'm thankful that I'm happy. I have a friend who I met about a year ago (when I lived in Salt Lake), who always comments now on how happy I seem, even when I'm stressed or worried about something. I like to tell him, "this is just me, back to normal!" But it's really true. I'm thankful that I'm "back to normal," and I hope I've learned enough to better weather the future storms that are inevitably part of life.

in media res

2011-11-10T09:56:00.000-07:00

"We all — in the end — die in medias res. In the middle of a story. Of many stories." (From here)

Do you ever think about how you would be remembered if you were to die tomorrow? Have you ever been worried that your last words to a family member would be harsh or ungrateful, or that you'll leave something unfinished?

I believe in life after this one, but I still want to live my life to the fullest. And the only way to do that is to live many stories and to always be in the middle of those many stories.

"'Dear God,' she prayed, 'let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry . . . have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere--be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.'" (A Tree Grows in Brooklyn)

This is what I want my life to be about.

good friends + pumpkin pancakes = good halloween

2011-11-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

Very, very good Halloween (even minus costumes). I'm just sad I had Brissa take all the pictures because now I don't have one of her. She did, however, blog about pumpkin pancakes better than I did.

1920s Murder Mystery!

2011-11-07T09:45:00.001-07:00

For our ward Halloween party, we had a murder mystery dinner, life-size "Clue." We were asked to dress in 1920s fashion, and everyone outdid themselves. Even the boys came with slicked-back hair and fedoras, the girls with long pearls and flapper dresses.

All of the "Clue" suspects appeared (Professor Plum, Mr. Green, Colonel Mustard, Mrs. White, Mrs. Peacock, and Mrs. Scarlett)—weapons in tow.

We were split up into groups, and we solved riddles to figure out clues.

Although our group didn't win, we definitely had fun anyway. We were horrified to find out that our dear friend Mrs. Peacock (aka Carolyn) was the murderer—she used a candlestick.

All in all, it was a pretty great night. We all agreed that it was the funnest ward party we have ever attended.

(Photos via Carolyn and Courtney.)

zombie haikus

2011-10-31T07:28:00.000-06:00

Happy Halloween! In honor of the holiday, here are some super nerdy zombie haikus for your enjoyment (borrowed from Chris Crowe from this blog).

dyslexic zombies
want brains but relentlessly
stalk Brians instead

Poe was an easy
target for zombies because
of his tell-tale heart

foggy night, London
Dickens stumbles, zombies lurk
great expectations!

civil war zombies
spill breakfast on their shirts, wear
red badge of porridge

"I'm having a brain
freeze," I said. "I'll have one too,"
said thirsty zombie

fallen zombie cries,
"please, sir, lend me a hand"
Samaritan snack

(I am most definitely going to use these in a lesson plan someday.)

oh boy

2011-10-11T14:45:00.001-06:00

I miss blogging. But, there is a time and a season for all things, and right now it's my time and season for trying to survive the mess I got myself into this semester :) Here's a little recap though:

I love teaching! I shadowed a junior high teacher for three weeks, and I was able to teach on six different days. I loved junior high way more than I thought I would. I've been at high school for a few weeks now, though, and I love it as well.
I'm not sure yet how I feel about being called "Miss McBride," but I better get used to it fast.
Some of the scariest looking kids at the high school have hearts of gold. ("Never judge a book by its cover"?)
My new roommates are fantastic.
I go to bed early like a grandma. I also get up really early. That's how I roll.
I just got 100 percent on an analysis paper. I can't even explain how happy that makes me.
Embarrassing fact: I miss tv.
I have managed to find time to be social. Some activities of note have included going to the Jimmer-mania game (or whatever it's called), a "goodbye summer" party, the Springville Art Museum, the Latino Festival in Provo, and free Outback Steak House, among other things.
I read approximately two YA novels a week for my class. My apologies to those who are suffering from email clog-up due to my reviews.
My bangs are officially grown out.
I went to the Utah Council of Teachers of English conference on Friday. I left feeling so motivated and so excited to get started for real.
Many of my friends are future doctors, and since I have been extensively editing applications for them, hopefully that guarantees some free medical advice someday :)
My family came up for General Conference last weekend. We went to a football game and we stayed at a condo in Deer Valley, which was a delight.
As shown in my previous bullet, I am subconsciously picking up some of the phrases my boss/friend (I never know what to call her) uses.
I don't want to be a lawyer, but I know a lot about getting into law school.
I threw away my teeth-whitening trays in my sleep last night. Good thing I remembered to get them out of the garbage this morning.
Something happened to me since the time I graduated: I now think that many of the English majors in my classes take themselves too seriously.
Things I really like right now include earplugs, pumpkin froyo, and swimming laps at the gym.
I am really, deeply, truly happy right now.

Quote of the week:

"Even a man on the right track will get run over if he just stands there." (Will Rogers)

football schmootball

2011-09-19T11:56:00.001-06:00

So, I'm a bad college student in the fact that I think football is really boring. Sometimes I try to go to the games, but sometimes I find ~~other~~ funner things to do (and it sounds like this past game was pretty terrible, anyway). Thank goodness Brissa feels the same way.

Here are some freaky pictures for your enjoyment (courtesy of my Macbook Pro):

happy birthday baby brother!

2011-09-18T18:45:00.002-06:00

I'm glad that you didn't die earlier this summer and that you are mostly normal now. Haha. It's nice having you back in the country :) Happy 21st!

Happy 50th!

2011-09-13T07:30:00.000-06:00

In honor of Bradley Grigg McBride—my father—turning 50, I thought it would be appropriate to list 50 reasons why I love him:

He's my dad! Half of my genes are from him!
He wrote a book and should write more
He's good looking'
He makes up bedtime stories for his kids (e.g. Sheriff Wobbles)
He gave a lot of time and energy to trying to help the people of Mozambique
He sees the big picture
He gives wise advice
He teaches FHE lessons that have stuck with me (e.g. being motivated to keep the commandments because of love for God)
He's a good speaker
He's a good Sunday School teacher
He takes Mom on dates
He pays for music lessons
He believes it's important for his children to have opportunities to develop their talents
He believes it's important for his children to go to college
He takes the time and money for family vacations
He was a cool kid during his college years
He was in a BYU talent show
He has narrowly avoided bad, bad things (e.g. getting his finger chopped off by a chain saw, breaking his back by diving into a stupid pool toy, etc.)
He secretly likes Murphy as much as the rest of the family does
He appreciates and enjoys Shakespeare and Kenneth Branagh
He is a gardener
He appreciates "thinking" movies and foreign film
He appreciates and enjoys Mozart and classical music
He is an eclectic music listener
He saw Billy Joel live in the 80s
He is witty
He loves Apple products and has always been a loyal fan
His nostrils flare when he gets emotional
He likes ice cream (a McBride tradition)
He has remained close to his siblings
He is willing to try new foods, and usually ends up liking them (e.g. sushi and Indian food)
He had incredible parents who taught him that happiness is a choice
He spoils his wife
He likes to travel
He is good at learning languages
He is brave when trying new things
He likes theme parks and roller coasters
He is really good at Boggle (and now Scrabble)
He lives his testimony
He put himself through college
He gets up early (and wakes everyone else up early) for family scripture study and prayer
He has instilled his love for the beach in his children
He has a magic "button" on his forehead
He knows how to do cool things like cut a watermelon with a piece of floss
He "knows everything"
He provides for his family
He knows how to comfort (e.g. that email he wrote me after a bad break-up)
He has taught his sons how to be worthy Priesthood holders
He is a wonderful father
He has been alive for 50 years!

Happy birthday, Dad! I love you!

photo dump

2011-09-12T13:30:00.000-06:00

Found in the elevator in my apartment complex the other day. Our elevator is the slooooowest elevator I have ever been on, so I take the stairs unless I have groceries. I guess someone else thought it was slow enough to warrant a place to sit. Haha. The sign says, "Courtesy of the Elevator Fairy."

This is from my book, Day One & Beyond: Practical Matters for New Middle-Level Teachers. I didn't rotate it, but you get the idea. That kid looks freakin' hilarious.

acoustic night!

2011-09-05T18:13:00.000-06:00

My friends Aubree and Sharydon asked me to play at their acoustic night at their house in Salt Lake. Their back porch is set up perfectly to be a stage, and they live at a really cool house. They had another acoustic night earlier this summer that was super fun.

I was really nervous about it. I've played in front of my friends a lot, but never with a mic and in front of a huge group. Fortunately, a handful of my friends came to cheer me on, and it was comforting seeing their faces in the crowd.

I started off being really stiff and nervous and shaky, but I got sooo much more comfortable by the end. They had me play an encore at the end of the night, and by then, I actually thought it was fun to play on stage!

Anyway, it ended up being a fun experience. Although it didn't make for the most exciting blog post ever, it's definitely something I want to remember :)

(Thanks for the pictures, Aubree!)

Northern California 2011

2011-09-04T17:47:00.000-06:00

Recap

Last-minute flight • Old Town Sacramento • Indonesian food • singing walking woman • couch shopping • catching up with Ty, Dani, & family • 30 Rock • hot tubbing • Cannery Row • Monterey Bay Aquarium • seahorses and jellyfish • 17-Mile Drive • picture taking • "You ruin everything!" • Noah and the Whale • holding the iPod close to my heart • John Steinbeck country • Carmel • yahoos and snooty food • pretend tantrums • Oakland Temple • crossing the Bay Bridge • Lombard Street • Fisherman's Wharf • clam chowder in bread bowls • Ghiardelli Square • two free chocolate samples • "Pearls!" "You're gonna wanna. But don't do it." • Pier 39 • beagles • Chinatown • bald biker statue • Santa Claus accordion • crazy driving • Haight-Ashbury • creepy taxidermy shop • Golden Gate Park • getting scared by the Bush-man—twice • "Happy 21st Anniversary Sea Lions!" • caffeinated Kyle • Rolling in the Deep • windy weather • Ethiopian food • hanging with the locals • paying for parking • español • Hong Kong desserts • glutinous rice balls and frog fat • sleeping in Sunnyvale • Penny the bull dog • talking in my sleep • Palo Alto and Stanford • "Right, right?" • calamari • ferry boat tour • black licorice • getting soaked on the boat • San Fran trivia • Mona Lisa restaurant • Golden Gate Bridge • Muir Woods • giant trees and fog • driving through Napa • Northern California country • hot tubbing • being spoiled by a mother • boating • learning to wakeboard • inhaling lots of lake water • sunburns • In-n-Out • crazy-eyed Roxy the pug • cute cute babies • pizza and pazookies • exhaustion • sore T-rex arms • driving on I-180 East • Dayna playing in the Salt Flats • not wanting to go back to real life

Monterey etc. (day two)

San Francisco etc. (day two)

San Francisco etc. (day three)

Rocklin and the drive home (day four and five)

(thanks to Kyle and Katie for the pictures!)

up up up update

2011-09-02T14:37:00.000-06:00

I am back in school! BACK IN SCHOOL! I love being back in the classroom! It feels so good! (I love school!)

However, I might have overscheduled myself a little bit, so this is going to be a difficult semester. I have been feeling very stressed and slightly panicked. Yesterday especially, I was feeling really overwhelmed with everything. I've had a ton of homework, and also, in class we've been talking a lot about lesson prep and classroom management and just a lot of things that will make my future job (and current schedule) pretty time crunched.

BUT also yesterday, two current teachers (one high school, one junior high) came and talked to us about their jobs. And though they attest to teaching being hard, they say that they love it.

As they were talking, I felt a really powerful punch/glow deep inside my chest cavity that reminded me, "Yes. This is what you are supposed to do right now, and even more, this is what you want to do right now." And suddenly, the stress and anxiety of this week was totally worth it.

Starting on Tuesday for three weeks I get to shadow a junior high teacher (and even teach a lesson or two), then for three weeks I get to shadow a high school teacher. I am more than a little bit nervous, but I am also excited.

PS: Provo is so so beautiful in the late summer. Every single time I go outside, the view of the mountains takes my breath away. They are so green and the air is so clear right now!

come on take it, take it from me

2011-08-25T22:21:00.002-06:00

What can I compare you to, a favorite pair of shoes?
Maybe my bright red boots if they had wings.
Funny how we animate colorful objects saved.
Funny how it's hard to take a love with no sting.

What can I compare you to, when everything looks like you?
I get a bit confused with every spring.
Flowers that bloom your eyes, hummingbirds side by side.
My heart won't stay entirely in this rib caging.

(The Weepies, "Take It from Me")

the computers

2011-08-24T15:13:00.000-06:00

Five years ago, I got my Macbook for my high school graduation. Man, has that computer served me well, through writing essays, storing photos, downloading music, chatting and skyping, blogging, surfing the web, wikipedia-ing, and watching Netflix. I hope that the guy who bought it from me enjoys it, too.

I recently upgraded to the 15" Macbook Pro. It's one of the biggest purchases I've ever made in my life, which made me feel sort of grown-up. Anyway, my computer is pretty awesome. Proof:

northern california trip

2011-08-08T10:14:00.002-06:00

I left my camera in Provo, which means that all of my pictures are on the camera of my friend who I won't see for two weeks. Until then, this is basically what we did. (Yes, it was a lot of driving :)

Sunday Skyping

2011-08-02T09:35:00.001-06:00

learning to feel less

2011-07-29T12:37:00.003-06:00

Something I've thought a lot about this past year is my ability to feel. The first few months after graduation, after settling into working full-time at a job where I felt somewhat isolated and unfulfilled, I started freaking out a little bit about my life. I wasn't finding any sort of flurry of excitement like the life I had left behind in Provo. I didn't have teachers asking questions that prodded and poked and changed my outlook. I had hours of time left empty on my calendar, with homework no longer a normal part of my vocabulary. My social and romantic life was MIA. I wanted my life to be moving somewhere, but I often felt like I was at a dead end. My life began feeling monotonous and blank. I felt like I was losing vibrancy.

I think that's when I first realized the beauty of the young twenties, single life; the blessing of changing schedules every four months, moving every year; the blessing of going to college and having some of your ideas and opinions make a complete 180. There's so much passion and so much to ponder and postulate and pray for—even to the point of occasional absurdity. The future is wide, wide open. When I was rereading Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, I felt like I was reading a description of myself:

"When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder.
Everything moved me. A dog following a stranger. That made me
feel so much. A calendar that showed the wrong month. I could
have cried over it. I did. Where the smoke from a chimney ended.
How an overturned bottle rested at the edge of a table.
I spent my life learning to feel less.
Every day I felt less.
Is that growing old? Or is it something worse?
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.

After a few months as a post grad, I did began to find my footing and worked to incorporate that color back into my drastically new life with goals and hobbies and friends. However, I was still a little unsettled, and I really started noticing "adults" who were happy—content. Adults who learned to embrace stability and set goals to work toward, who had decided what was important to them and shaped their lives accordingly. Just because it's a different way of life doesn't mean it's a worse way of life in the least.

(Have you ever followed someone's blog through single life, to getting married and starting a family? What once was a blog filled with over-thinking about ideas, art, and curiosity becomes a blog emanating pride due to a successful new recipe, a job promotion, or baby's first steps. It's incredible to me how much the content changes.)

And another book passage I loved recently (from David Nicholls's One Day):

"She sometimes wondered what her twenty-two-year-old self would think of today's Emma Mayhew. . . .

"No, this, she felt, was real life and if she wasn't as curious or passionate as she once had been, that was only to be expected. It would be inappropriate, undignified, at thirty-eight, to conduct friendships or love affairs with the ardour and intensity of a twenty-two-year-old. Falling in love like that? Writing poetry, crying at pop songs? Dragging people into photo-booths, taking a whole day to make a compilation tape? . . .

"Ridiculous, at thirty-eight, to expect a song or book or film to change your life. No, everything had evened out and settled down and life was lived against a general background hum of comfort, satisfaction and familiarity. There would be no more of those nerve-jangling highs and lows. The friends they had now would be the friends they had in five, ten, twenty years' time. They expected to get neither dramatically richer nor poorer; they expected to stay healthy for a little while yet. Caught in the middle; middle class, middle-aged; happy in that they were not over happy."

So I guess my plan is to embrace the "nerve-jangling highs and lows" when they come, but also enjoy living in the "general background hum of comfort, satisfaction and familiarity" when that comes, too

(Please comment. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this and my very naive self would love to hear your opinions.)

Dan the man visits Provo!

2011-07-20T09:52:00.001-06:00

Danny drove back with me from Oceanside to Provo, and I had lots of fun showing him my "exciting" life at BYU (baha). We watched movies, went to church, had a picnic at Bridal Veil Falls, and spent time with some of my friends. I dropped him off at EFY (where he had the time of his life), and we ran into each other on campus a few times during the week. I picked him up on Saturday morning, and we went to the Provo Bakery, took a nap as we watched HP 7.1, saw HP 7.2, ate J-Dawgs, and explored SLC a little before I took him to the airport.

All in all, it was really fun to have my ~~little~~ younger (he's taller than me now!) brother around. I wish he would hurry up and get old enough to come to school up here!

happy anniversary!

2011-07-18T07:25:00.001-06:00

Today my parents are celebrating their silver anniversary. Yep, it's been 25 years since they tied the knot! My parents have such an incredible marriage. They have complete faith in the love they have for each other, but at the same time, they don't take that love for granted.

Mom and Dad—I don't know if you realize how much we kids have watched your marriage as we've been growing up. I know I don't want to settle for anything less than what you two have. Thanks for always making each other your biggest priorities.

"Always."

2011-07-16T22:44:00.001-06:00

When the movie ended and the credits started rolling, it was hard to swallow.

I've always really liked Harry Potter. I devoured the books and attended midnight showings. But I never realized how truly great this whole Harry Potter thing is until I reread all the books this past year.

It's not just another YA series. To quote Stephen King, "Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend" (PS this quote has been floating around the internet but I have yet to find out if it's accurate or not; however, it still gets the point across.)

Harry Potter is about selflessness and courage and integrity and love. "We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are" (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix). That's what Harry Potter is about.

I'm joining the Harry Potter farewell blog posts and saying that I felt today like I said goodbye to my childhood. I'm so grateful that I got to grow up with this series.

engrish

2011-07-15T17:59:00.002-06:00

My friend Kyle is on an internship in China right now. Look at this little gem he found the other day:

(Hint: Which one of these is not like the other?)

Bahaha!

Annual McBride Beach Reunion

2011-07-15T15:38:00.002-06:00

Every year, the extended McBride family escapes from the heat and heads to the beach for the week of the 4th of July. We've been carrying on the tradition for about eight years or so. I feel even more grateful for this tradition now that I very rarely see any of my extended family. We cousins were talking last week about how we hope we carry this tradition on for years and years—even when we have our own kids.

Starting new jobs and going on study abroads kept me from a times, but not this year. I drove myself down to Oceanside and enjoyed a blissful week full of McBride family favorites:

Sleeping in really late every morning.
Listening to Alex play his new favorite songs over and over.
Spending hours on the beach (where I fell victim to an angry sunburn that left me feverish and whiny for days).
Taking lots of hot tub breaks.
Swimming in the ocean trying to avoid stingrays (poor Hunter).
Eating lots of good food.
Watching fireworks on the golf course.

This year was especially good for a few specific reasons:

I have a bunch of friends (Originals) in Southern California this summer! (Some taking the summer off from BYU and living at home, and some—ahem, Steph Olds—there for good.) I got to spend some time with them, which was fun. A definite highlight was getting to see Dan coming out of the temple, glowing and so happily holding his new wife's hand.

This was the first time my immediate family was together in almost two years! It was fun getting used to Taylor being back. I have to say that I think this was the most peaceful and least contentious week we've ever had—even though we were a little squished in our two-bedroom condo with the seven of us.

All in all, the week was great.

perks of being an editor

2011-07-11T21:03:00.000-06:00

". . . it's just you are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo freakin' amazing at making my BS sound beautiful."

—a friend I've been helping with med school applications

adulthood

2011-07-11T18:33:00.002-06:00

I've lived away from home for five years now...

when am I going to stop getting so homesick after spending time with my family?

things I like and dislike

2011-06-17T22:10:00.004-06:00

things I like
> The window in my room and chilly night air.
> My job—and the raise I got today. Wahoo!
> Listening to Fleetwood Mac's Rumours album from start to finish.
> Big O Tires because they checked and fixed my tire pressure for free today (this is not one of my skills).
> The occasional Friday night spent at home freelance editing with a really awful British miniseries playing in a tiny corner of my computer screen.
> Going to the temple.

things I dislike
> People who are desensitized and rude enough to flirt through death scenes in war movies.
> That my best friend left Provo for the rest of the summer, leaving me with a surprising amount of extra time on my hands.
> How slow my laptop is getting.
> Taylor's crazy head injury. (He's out of danger, but he's not going to be 100 percent for a long, long time—see his blog for more details.)

compressed brains and selfless hearts

2011-06-08T19:29:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting at the airport waiting for my flight to Phoenix right now. My brother Taylor is on a flight to Phoenix right now, too—the same brother who has been serving a mission in the Dominican Republic for the last 21 months.

Missions for boys usually last 24 months—he's not supposed to be coming home right now! And he doesn't want to be coming home right now, either.

The McBride family has had quite the share of freak accidents (Mom's leg, the Suburban and the cow, Dad's finger, etc.), so I guess Taylor is sort of carrying on the family tradition. Read here and here for details, but long story short, he has a compressed skull fracture and is coming back to the US for surgery. He should be okay, but it's still a little scary. I mean, if he had broken his leg or something I would have felt bad, but any injury automatically becomes scary as soon as the brain is involved.

This is the first time in my adult life and my first time away from home that anything has happened to me/my family that has warranted lots of people reaching out in love and concern. The love and concern I've felt over the past couple days has been overwhelming, especially in contrast to the isolation I sometimes feel (and blog about).

Yesterday I got a worried phone call from a friend waiting in line for Space Mountain; another friend has lovingly spent hours listening to my incessant, frantic babble; multiple friends offered to ditch classes and find subs for work if I needed them to drive me to the airport; I have received more texts, phone calls, and facebook messages in the past two days then I usually receive in two weeks; because of an incredibly generous friend, I'm able to travel home to be with my family. And this same sort of thing is happening at home, too. Everytime I call my mom, someone seems to be knocking at the door offering their love, offering their hands, offering their prayers, offering anything and everything they know how to offer.

Besides feeling really grateful and feeling really loved, I've been thinking a lot about the actions coming from these people I hold close to me. I forgot how big the small things can grow. Times like these show how true and real friends are. If this experience teaches me nothing else, I hope I remember how I'm feeling next time someone I love is in trouble.

minutiae

2011-06-06T09:54:00.005-06:00

I'm good at finding free things. Like free concerts and free donuts. Provo is doing this cool Rooftop Concert Series this summer, so we went and saw Mindy Gledhill and Meaghan Smith on Friday. The weather was perfect, the music was fun, and the boy standing next to us sure could shake his hips. Also, Friday was National Donut Day, so Krispy Kremes was giving out free donuts.

I forgot to bring my Vaseline chapstick to work today. Forgetting my chapstick is the worst.

My friend Max taught me how to play racquetball this weekend. Holy cow have I been missing out! I love racquetball! (I also love tennis, but there are definitely some racquetball perks, such as not having to chase down the ball, and the ability to play even when it's snowing outside!) Who wants to play with me?

At least from my personal experience, Provo boys are a lot better at asking girls on dates than Salt Lake boys are.

Have you ever seen Rescue Dawn or The Way Back? I feel like a lot of the movies I've been watching lately have made me really grateful for how easy my life is.

It's really wonderful being close enough to work that I can walk. I do not miss the bus at all. Also, walking through Provo and BYU is peaceful and beautiful in the morning.

I am a guitar-playing fiend.

My BFF Kyle and I have decided to only text each other in español because I'm trying to practice but I'm too nervous to limit my oral communications so severely. I'm really good at texting "Debes mirar 30 Rock conmigo!" We'll see if I can wake up anything else I learned from those four years of Spanish class.

Life is good. Reeeal good.

thought for the weekend...and the rest of my life

2011-06-03T16:51:00.001-06:00

"It might sound boring, but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most."
--Up

photo dump

2011-05-30T11:11:00.001-06:00

My roommate Holly and I don't see each other much because we have backwards schedules, but we have taken to leaving each other silly notes on the whiteboard. Holly has dreadlocks. She is really cool.

Kyle's birthday dinner at Red Robin.

Wedding accessory shopping with Leslie.

I sent Alex a package for his high school graduation. I wanted to buy him a tie but couldn't decide between two, so I texted him this picture and said, "I'm trying to help my friend pick out a tie for a boy...which one do you think looks best?" I ended up sending him the orange and gray one. (I'm so sneaky!) Also, he was trying to skype with me the other day, but it turns out he was skyping some other Emily who was, in his words, "kind of grumpy and mean." Bahaha.

goodbyes

2011-05-27T14:07:00.001-06:00

My younger brother Alex graduated yesterday. I graduated five years ago this weekend.

I think it was five years ago that I first really experienced the aching gnaw of goodbyes and change. The week of graduation I said goodbye to friends who I will probably never see again, except in Facebook photos. A couple months later, I said goodbye to the orphans of Mozambique and the land of Africa, which I had grown to love in such a short time. A month or so after that, I said goodbye to my family on the grass outside of Helaman Halls. I didn't realize that this was just the beginning.

The goodbyes keep coming, some temporary, and some more permanent. Goodbye to my new friends at the end of freshman year. Goodbye to my family, each Thanksgiving, each Christmas, each time I manage to go home. Goodbye to seven sets of roommates in Provo. Goodbye to London, and goodbye to study abroad friends. Goodbye to dozens of graduated friends who have scattered all over the country. Goodbye to coworkers, to favorite professors, to Church friends. Goodbye to brothers on missions. Goodbye to BYU, goodbye to Provo. Goodbye to Salt Lake and a year's worth of a new life. And today, goodbye to my job at Church Welfare.

Sometimes I feel like I blog about the same things over and over. It used to bother me, but I've come to the conclusion that this is just a part of truthful journalistic blogging, and part of life in general. We each have our own individual things we're working through, and with each phase of life comes specific blessings and challenges.

This single, twenty-something stage of life is so so transitory. Sometimes I feel like this instability is one of the biggest (and most overwhelming) themes of my life. I get tired of feeling like I constantly am saying goodbye. But, this change is inevitable, and I'm sure I have thousands of goodbyes left.

When I am feeling exhausted with all this change, it helps me to remember that with these goodbyes comes the potential for new beginnings. "So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come! But it also means you have to let them go!" (Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close).

I'm trying to keep that door open.

The Head and the Heart

2011-05-25T14:43:00.000-06:00

The lyrics are kind of repetitive, but I like this song/band.

The Head and The Heart - Music - More Music Videos

things I miss about Salt Lake

2011-05-24T20:42:00.001-06:00

Welp, as I'm officially moved back to Provo, I thought it would be fitting to look back on all the good times I've had in Salt Lake.

Here are some things I miss:

my big bedroom
a quiet house
the incredible girls in my Relief Society
lots of parking on the street
learning a lot from people who have a few more years of single-life experience
having a piano at home
Mindy's and Kellie's/Jamie's parties
feeling extra loved when friends travel up to visit me
the Salt Lake County libraries
Abigayle hitting me when she gets excited
Lacey's love of banana bread
getting my roommates addicted to tv shows
living close to the airport
living close to Park City
living close to downtown
living close to the Apple store
living close to everything!
Sugarhouse
Pad Thai carry-out from Pei Wei
living on a family street
and, my roommates in general pretty much trump all

I'm loving being back in Provo, but Salt Lake had some good times.

el tiempo

2011-05-23T15:32:00.002-06:00

Lately I've been glorying in the contrasts of the weather.

Warm sunshine makes an Arizona baby feel at home.
I love the tingling of the sun's rays soaking deep deep into my body,
and the excuse to sprawl on the grass while chatting with best friends.

Cloudy sky makes an Arizona baby feel grateful.
I love walking barefoot on wet concrete,
and feeling light raindrops on the top of my head and shoulders.

This cycle of sunshine and rain.
Light and water.
Energy and peace.
Growth and renewal.

So much symbolism.

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(source)

(lunch break at Temple Square)

dreaming—Inception style

2011-05-17T11:23:00.001-06:00

Last night I dreamed that I was living in Germany, and we were frantically preparing for a Cormac-McCarthy-esque apocalypse mixed in with some sort of holocaust (I blame it on my recent rereading of The Road).

I was being shouted at by an SS guard to pack my belongings, but I could only have a backpack full. I remember the biggest struggle of the event was deciding which book to bring. At first I was going to bring the first Harry Potter, but after a few minutes pondering my future posterity, I settled for Le Petit Prince—because I was hoping to use its lessons to help teach my kids, growing up in such a bleak life.

That was pretty much the end of that dream, but what made me laugh when I woke up was my subsequent dreaming.

I dreamed that I woke up and thought about my dream, and then felt guilty for not choosing some book of scripture to take. I wondered if I really would choose Le Petit Prince. I thought more about what else would be in my backpack.
Then I dreamed that I woke up and was surprised at how well thought out my dream was.
Then I dreamed that I woke up and decided to blog about it, posing the question, "What book would you choose?"
Last, I dreamed that I woke up and told my roommate about everything that happened.

Then I woke up for reals.

But now, I'm curious. What book would you choose?

choosing

2011-05-11T15:40:00.001-06:00

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantine and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."

-Sylvia Plath The Bell Jar

I have a lot to say about this, but I think I'll save it for another time.

Mom time

2011-05-08T13:22:00.000-06:00

Mom came to visit a few weekends ago. We had so much fun. We went to movies, ate good food, saw the Carl Bloch exhibit, went to Ikea, visited some of the SLC sites, and went to Music and the Spoken Word. Here are a few photo highlights (thanks to my Mom, who is pretty good with her camera :)

(My house)

I love you Mom! Thanks so much for coming to visit :)

Oh, and Happy Mothers Day, too! You are seriously the greatest.

Rosie the Riveter

2011-05-05T09:44:00.000-06:00

I felt really empowered after setting up my two new bookshelves last night. Honestly, I didn't think I'd be able to do it by myself. It was my first time setting up furniture (because Ikea furniture doesn't count). But it was really easy!

Even better, the bookshelves were up against the wall, everything was clean and dusted, and I put the last book into place just as Jaws ended. One hundred and twenty four minutes of perfect Netflix Instant Play timing.

Also, I should probably invest in a hammer. The handle of my screwdriver is getting pretty scratched up.

post-grad accomplishments

2011-04-22T07:59:00.000-06:00

So, it's been a whole year since I graduated. So weird.

Here are my quite impressive post-grad accomplishments:

Read 58 books.
Watched 7 tv series in their entirety--2 of them twice.
Spent many nights on friends' couches in Provo.
Went home to Arizona 5 times.
Grew accustomed to a 10:15pm-6:15pm sleeping schedule.
Traveled to (or drove through) 7 other states.
Blogged 147 times.

Okay, but really. Here's the serious list:

Got out of debt.
Began to really appreciate alone time.
Learned to feel strong and independent.
Moved completely on my own, to a city where I had no previous friends.
Learned the ins & outs of said new city.
Worked for the Church.
Made some lifelong friends.
Decided I want to be a teacher, and got into a program to pursue that goal.
Strengthened my testimony of faith in good things to come.

I have no idea what I expected life to be like a year after graduation. I didn't expect things to happen the way they did, but I'm grateful for that. I'm learning more and more that I can't plan out every detail of my life--and that plans changing isn't necessarily a bad thing.

base jumpers

2011-04-20T12:01:00.000-06:00

I work at the LDS Church Office Building.

Back in November, while I was walking to my car I saw people jumping off the building. It freaked me out at first, but when their parachutes opened I realized it wasn't a suicide attempt.

Anyway, the jumpers got caught and paid a fine, but their video is pretty entertaining. Here it is:

Church Office Building from Marshall Miller on Vimeo.

i've gotta have faith

2011-04-14T11:18:00.000-06:00

I just really really love this song.

happy birthday yex!

2011-04-13T14:02:00.001-06:00

You have great taste in music and always make me laugh.
I'm jealous of the fun and crazy things you and your friends do
(like the intense Harry Potter costume party last year).
You're an adult now! Huzzah!

Salt Lake people, who I like

2011-04-13T13:58:00.001-06:00

Abigayle's birthday sushi!

the eyes kill me

2011-04-13T13:52:00.001-06:00

The King's Speech

2011-04-07T10:04:00.000-06:00

"My job is to give them faith in their own voice and let them know they have a friend who listens."

I went into this movie with incredibly high expectations, and I was not disappointed in the least. Not only was this movie masterfully made, but it has real substance. This story of two men (yes, two men) who rose above inspired me to have more courage, to have more humility, to be less selfish, and to be more determined.

"Where love is, there God is also"

2011-04-05T11:24:00.002-06:00

This past weekend was General Conference. I say this every time, but really, Conference was sooo good!

For the Sunday morning session, Lacey and I decided to wait on the street corner (in the snow) to see if we could get in. Some nice couple gave us tickets, which ended up being for the front-and-center section. We sat next to a newly-sustained Area Authority, which was cool.

I'm so grateful that, through the promptings and confirmations of the Holy Ghost, we are able to really be individually touched by what we hear. If I am listening with a prayerful heart, I can be reminded of the truths I really need to be reminded of at the time. When I later look back on my notes and re-listen to talks, I realize that sometimes the most powerful things I wrote down were actually not even part of the talks.

For me, this Conference was about love, in specifically three ways:

My motivation for keeping God's commandments should be my love for Him. Also, God loves me and knows what's best for me—even if that sometimes means suffering through painful experiences.
This love should also motivate me to serve and reach out to others (I especially felt this theme with the 75th anniversary of the Church Welfare Department—which is actually where I work).
Love between a husband and wife and within a family should be top priorities in this life.

Here are a few of the talks that touched me most:

Elder Dallin H. Oaks: Desiresàprioritiesàchoicesàactionsàwho we become. Also, the analogy to Aron Ralston, who had to "cut" and "carve" off his arm to achieve his vision of who he was supposed to become.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf: Move forward with faith. Don't wait too long on the Road to Damascus. We're given small "puzzle pieces" of understanding, and it's up to us to keep seeking for more and have faith that we'll eventually see the big picture.
Elder David A. Bednar: Comparing two types of personal revelation to flipping on a light switch and the sun rising. Revelation doesn't always come in grand epiphanies.
Elder Richard G. Scott: Marriage and family bring great joy and fulfillment in life. Touching tribute to his late wife. Have faith in the Lord's promises and live to be worthy of them.
Elder Lynn G. Robbins: "Do" vs. "be." One without the other is either hypocrisy or it is void. Focus primary praise on character—not on actions. What is my "to-be" list?
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: Great wrap-up of Conference. Testimony that the Church is led by living prophets.

I'm so grateful for this inspired counsel that I'm able to receive every six months. It's always such a great weekend to self-evaluate and recharge my batteries.

it's spring!

2011-04-01T06:21:00.008-06:00

when faces called flowers float out of the ground

when faces called flowers float out of the ground
and breathing is wishing and wishing is having-
but keeping is downward and doubting and never
-it's april (yes,april;my darling)it's spring!
yes the pretty birds frolic as spry as can fly
yes the little fish gambol as glad as can be
yes the little fish gambol as glad as can be
(yes the mountains are dancing together)
when every leaf opens without any sound
and wishing is having and having is giving-
but keeping is doting and nothing and nonsense
-alive;we're alive,dear:it's(kiss me now)spring!
now the pretty birds hover so she and so he
now the little fish quiver so you and so i
(now the mountains are dancing, the mountains)
when more than was lost has been found has been found
and having is giving and giving is living-
but keeping is darkness and winter and cringing
-its spring(all our night becomes day)o,it's spring!
all the pretty birds dive to the heart of the sky
all the little fish climb through the mind of the sea
(all the mountains are dancing,are dancing)

--e.e. cummings

I just really love TotallyLooksLike.com, okay?

2011-03-30T09:26:00.000-06:00

KV 550

2011-03-28T16:15:00.001-06:00

This weekend I went to the Utah Symphony to hear Mozart's Symphony No. 40. It was a lovely night.

Music is so powerful. I was amazed at how many memories pounded me throughout the performance.

I thought a lot about symphony in high school, about the passion I had for developing my own musicianship. I also thought a lot about how heavily entwined those performance groups were with the melodrama of my relationships and social life.

I thought a lot about my time in London, about how, after being so heavily inundated with museums, plays, homework, and sightseeing, I just melted on the floor of the Royal Albert Hall, listening to Beethoven and Rachmaninoff. I think that was the first time I really realized the poignancy—but necessity—of setting aside so much practicing and so much passion and so much potential to become the person that I need to be.

I thought a lot about my life right now, about the perfect pieces and the not-so-perfect pieces. I thought about how every year I feel like I'm stretching and reaching, sometimes grabbing hold and sometimes falling short. I realized that this isn't just part of growing up—it's a part of life. I want to keep stretching and reaching until the day I die.

The concert left my eyes puffy and my heart full. As I drove home, I whispered a little prayer of thanks for the power of music and for my ability to feel.

obsessed

2011-03-23T11:43:00.001-06:00

While the roommates and I watched Veronica Mars this weekend, I decided to make a paper chain out of an old magazine.

Any guesses for what the countdown is for?

Yep, that's right. Harry Potter 7.2!

I'm just a little paranoid that it's going to fall on me while I'm sleeping.

happy birthday Dan!

2011-03-22T17:28:00.000-06:00

You're funny and smart and talented and work so hard.
I'd want to be friends with you if I were 14.

las mapas

2011-03-22T11:56:00.001-06:00

I really love maps.

At home in Arizona, my parents have a giant map of the United States that is littered with little colored push pins (green for where my dad has been, blue for where my mom has been, and orange for where they have been together/where we have been as a family). I spent a significant amount of time trying to get familiar with the giant map of London displayed in the servery at the BYU London Centre. I spend hours on Google Maps, looking at distances and capitols, places I've been and places I want to go (FYI Google estimates that it would take me about a month to walk to NYC).

I found this map online though, and I thought it was just too cool to pass up (I've been coveting it for months because I'm silly frugal sometimes).

You scratch the gold off the countries you've been to and it's a different color underneath. Cool, right?
Here are the coolest places I've been:

Countries aren't separated out, and I thought it would be super cheap of me to pretend I've been to all of North America, so I just "guesstimated" the boundaries of my former escapades.

Anyway, I'm excited that this map is now on my wall. Only problem is that I feel way less traveled than I did before I got it.

Marlene

2011-03-17T14:40:00.011-06:00

If I could choose myself a middle name, I would choose Marlene.

Marlene Grigg McBride was my dad's mom.

I don't know much about her life before I appeared on the scene. I do know that she was born in Oregon (which may be why I sometimes feel I have the Pacific Northwest in my blood). I also know that she met my grandpa at BYU and that they got married when she was 22 (probably going on 23, since Grandpa Horton was almost 33).

I wish so bad she were here to tell these stories herself. I want to hear more about her youth during WWII and about her college years in the sock-hop 50's. I want to hear about what she was studying and the classes she enjoyed and what she thought of Provo. I want to hear about the first time she met Horton and when she knew she was in love.

Last year, an old woman called my dad, looking for Marlene. After she heard the sad news that she was a decade late, this old woman—Marlene’s college roommate—sent us a large yellow envelope. Inside were pictures of her and Marlene sassily pouting their bright red lips and stories of how Marlene was almost evicted after she and Horton ran up and down the house throwing water (and pieces of their hearts in hopes that they’d be caught and treasured).

I want to know what her hopes and dreams were. Did she want to see the world? Did she ever wish she could live in an apartment in the middle of a big city? I want to know if her lofty hopes and dreams were realized, or if instead, the love for her home and family replaced those hopes and dreams with something eternal and tangible and far more worth it. I want to know if she had regrets when she died, so I could learn from her and avoid those same regrets myself. I want to know more about this woman who raised her son to be the man he is today.

I wish I would have asked her more about her life, but I guess I can’t fault myself. I was just an eleven-year-old girl who rode her bike to Grandma’s to spend endless hours playing SKIP-BO and watching Rodgers & Hammerstein. I didn’t know my time with her would be cut short so soon. She died just weeks before the new millennium, just weeks before Christmas—her favorite time of the year.

Although she's been gone for eleven years, I sometimes still miss her and the remarkable woman that she was. I long to hear her eccentric laugh on the phone as I tell her crazy dating stories or see her excitement as I show her pictures from my London adventures. I can imagine her eyes wide as I tell her about using a bathroom in the middle of Mozambique (that was basically just a tarp around four sticks) and her tears as I tell her about the frail orphans I held.

Even though she’s not here, I feel her sometimes. I felt her tangible pride as I played a piano solo at my final high school orchestra concert and as I stood in my cap and gown at the Marriot Center this past April. I feel that she would be proud of who I am today.

I love all my grandparents, but I feel a special bond with Marlene. I feel like I get a lot of my compassion and spirit and bubbling happiness from her.

If I could choose myself a middle name, I would choose Marlene.

2011-03-15T09:58:00.002-06:00

via

Japan

2011-03-14T17:21:00.002-06:00

image via

Does anyone else feel guilty blogging about trivial things when there is so much suffering going on right now on the other side of the world?

I just can't stop thinking about how awful it would be to even be a survivor right now. Can you imagine watching your loved ones swept away by giant waves? Can you imagine not having a house--or even a city--to go home to after experiencing such tragedy? Can you imagine the horror that would come from replaying those memories over and over?

I hope and pray that those in Japan are able to gather the strength and courage to rebuild their lives because I can't even imagine how difficult that would be.

my 400th post (or, 40 things about me)

2011-03-14T07:09:00.001-06:00

I'm most awake early in the morning.
If I don't go to bed before midnight (no matter how much sleep I get), I have narcoleptic tendencies.
I think one of the reasons I'm more obsessed with Harry Potter now than when the books came out is because I actually have time for obsessions.
It's easy for me to make friends and connect with people. I really like hearing people's stories (i.e. where they came from, and what their hopes and dreams are).
I used to be really OCD about scheduling out every spare minute of my time. I've calmed down a lot, but I am still really good at being efficient when I need to be.
I spend many weekends "homeless" in Provo.
At least one of my family members is almost always sick.
I don't really like shopping, unless I'm at Target.
I have a thing for redheads.
I feel depressed if I am not being productive with my life. Even working full-time doesn't cut it--I have to set and be striving toward goals in order to be truly happy.
I often catch myself saying, "Well I was reading an article in the New York Times today and..."
I don't usually like rewatching movies until I forget the plot details (which only takes a year or two).
In high school, I used the DVR to record lots of old movies (think 30s and 40s), which I would watch on the weekends.
I'm kind of a movie and book snob. I just started a review blog (we'll see how long that lasts :)
I love being the big sister and that my little brothers get excited about me coming home.
I would like the snow if it would just stay off the roads and the sidewalks.
I am an awful driver when I haven't slept enough.
My favorite part of editing is making things shorter and more concise.
I own (and often use) an electric blanket, footie pajamas, a snuggie, and a bunch of sweats. Don't judge! My house is cold.
When I was a preteen, my parents were afraid I had no heart because I never cried. Turns out they had nothing to worry about because I'm definitely a crybaby now.
I cry when I break things.
A small sampling of items on my bucket list include learning to play the cello, kissing the Blarney Stone, milking a cow, driving across the United States, and reading the Book of Mormon 100 times.
I've been to 19 states and 13 countries (not including airport stops)
Growing up, I'm pretty sure I had zero rebellious bones in my body.
I hate reading descriptions of landscape in novels, but I love reading dialogue. (I also love reading plays.)
The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is make my bed.
One time when I was 14, I won a pair of 7-Up boxers off the lid of a 7-Up bottle.
I love listening to music until I learn all the words. Then I get sick of it and move onto something else.
I don't like being too "matchy" with my clothes.
I wear a lot of black.
I have to close all the blinds in the house at night.
I'm terrified of heights--unless I'm strapped into something. I love roller coasters, but hate being on the roof.
My only scars are from the kitchen.
I have grown significantly more curious, analytical, and opinionated since I have gotten older.
I don't like reality tv.
I think modern medicine is fascinating.
I am subscribed to 400+ blogs on my Google reader.
I like talking about feminism, but I wish people understood that there are hundreds of degrees of feminism, so this doesn't make me a bra burner.
I've never had braces. Or wisdom teeth.
The past few months I've had more of my quirks pointed out than I ever have before.

free pillow!

2011-03-10T07:47:00.003-07:00

While my friends in Provo do things like go on a school night to see Tangled for the third time, I contentedly read and watch too much tv in my cozy house up in Salt Lake. Last night Lacey and I broke the mold though—we heard that RC Willey was giving out free pillows to anyone who browsed their mattress sale. Did we go and try out 20 different mattresses and come out with free pillows? You bet we did!

Loving my free pillow already.

this makes me cry every time

2011-03-09T11:30:00.001-07:00

As does Spencer Tracy's monologue from Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (by the way, Carl was partially modeled after Spencer Tracy):

Film trivia: Katherine Hepburn's tears are speculated to be very real. This movie was made while Spencer Tracy (Katherine's long-time lover) was basically on his deathbed. He died a couple weeks after filming wrapped.

One more thing: Isn't it crazy that just 40 years ago it was this hard for an interracial couple to marry?

I'd appreciate a snow day at least once in my life

2011-03-08T20:55:00.000-07:00

See that? The branch is basically touching the street!

This morning while I was scraping off my car, I noticed the tree from across the street. --->

Anyway, kind of crazy.

For some reason I'm totally okay with the snow today. It really is beautiful, the way it blankets housetops and gloves tree branches and sparkles in the sun.

My only complaint is the slushy-grossness of the city streets.

a poem

2011-03-02T17:44:00.002-07:00

the gentle dripping of the melting snow falls from the gutter.

is the heartbeat pitter-patter resigned to the fact that it may be defrosting

just in time for another icy freeze,

or daring to hope that spring really is coming?

(coming with sun and daisies and smiles and love.)

photo via via

I just really love penguins

2011-02-28T07:08:00.002-07:00

See more funny videos and Cute Animals at Todays Big Thing.

new plans

2011-02-24T18:07:00.001-07:00

Today I got accepted to BYU!* (Déjà vu back to Christmas Eve when I was 17?)

Yes, I already graduated. But I'm going back as a post-bacc student to get my teaching certificate. I want to be a high school English teacher.

When I graduated last April, teaching high school was the last thing on my to-do list. I was really resistant to the idea, actually. When you tell people you're majoring in English, most assume that means you want to be an English teacher. I got used to quickly adding on "I want to be an editor!" before someone could ask me if I wanted to teach.

Now, a college grad, I've been working full-time, editing and writing—my dream, right? Turns out, not so much.

This past year has been a year of soul-searching. Of figuring out what I want out of my life. My close friends lovingly and patiently put up with my semi-existential crises on occasion, as I tried to figure out what I needed to do because I just didn't feel right about anything anymore. I will be forever grateful to those friends who listened to me, and especially to one of my friends who reminded me of all the good things I'm already doing and have already done.

It would take too long to explain my thought process, but I eventually came to the conclusion that I want to teach. I played around with the idea for a few months (working full-time vs. taking out a loan to go back to school = not fun financially). I shadowed a family friend at my old high school. The more I researched, the more I talked to people, and the more I prayed, I knew it was the right thing for me to do.

(At first I questioned myself, afraid that my decision was based too much on how great my BYU experience was. But I know now that it's not. Going back to BYU is mostly just a means to an end. I am way more excited to finish up this next year and half so I can get out into the real world (and most likely out of Utah) to start the rest of my life. I never felt that way about graduating before, so I think this is a really good sign.)

I can't fully explain how much more at peace I feel. I feel strongly that this is the next step I'm supposed to take. I have learned that, as frustrating as it is, I can only do so much planning. I can't plan out the rest of my life right now, but I do have more faith and trust that I can receive spiritual inspiration from God about the plan He has for me.

So, here's to being back at BYU in September!

*In case anyone is wondering why I've been talking about it for a while, even though I just got accepted, it's because I got accepted into BYU's English teaching program last month. Yeah, kind of backwards, right?

some thoughts

2011-02-23T18:43:00.007-07:00

I miss home a lot. A lot more than I used to.
I like this quote from Downton Abbey: "If you're feelin' homesick, there's no shame in it. Means you come from a happy home. There's plenty of people here t'would envy that."
Downton Abbey is really, really great. Everyone should watch it. I'm so glad they're making a second season! Also, Matthew Crawley (aka Dan Stevens) is beautiful.

birthday festivities

2011-02-22T18:15:00.002-07:00

I love my family and my friends so much. They made my birthday really, really great this year, and it kind of turned into birthday "week" instead:

Thai Siam with the roommates on Wednesday night. I seriously could eat curry and Pad Thai every day.
Cake and lunch together with work friends on Thursday.
Partied with Marci and Lacey on Friday night. We like gyros.
Family birthday package opening on iChat. I got a Roku to watch Netflix on tv. It's pretty sweet. Also, Mom made this quilt out of my old shirts from high school (and even some from elementary school). It's my new favorite blanket (especially because it's silky on the other side).
Attempting to sleep in and catching up on 30 Rock while curling my hair.
Breakfast muffins and mango (by Lacey) on Saturday before I headed down to Provo.
Birthday lunch at California Pizza Kitchen with the Originals on Saturday (celebrating Tanner's birthday, too, which is two days before mine). The married couple even showed! :)
Costco and the mall with Tara, Mia, and Steph.
Diet Cokes and catching up with Kris Tina.
Hanging out at Ashley's. (Matching cardigans!)
In-N-Out with Ash.
Pazookie birthday party at Amelia's and Ashley's. Lots of old friends and high school friends came. Marci played and sang a She & Him song on her ukulele for me. Just Dance.
Best friends.
Great friends who let me use their house for my party!
Lots and lots of special phone calls, texts, and facebook posts.

Thanks to all my wonderful family and friends who made me feel so special :)

Here's to beginning my twenty-fourth year!

le petit prince

2011-02-21T07:05:00.003-07:00

"People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden . . . yet they don't find what they're looking for . . ."
"They don't find it," I answered.
"And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water . . . "
"Of course," I answered.
And the little prince added, "But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart."

--Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince)

twinners

2011-02-19T10:09:00.008-07:00

I'd like to celebrate my birthday today by honoring others who share the same beloved date of birth.

Haylie Duff ('85) aka Hilary's sister and Summer on Napoleon Dynamite

Arielle Kebbel ('85) aka Lindsey on Gilmore Girls

Prince Andrew, Duke of York ('60) aka he's British royalty--no further explanation needed

Smokey Robinson ('40) aka King of Motown

If I were born two days earlier, I would have shared a birthday with Joseph Gordon Leavitt and Paris Hilton.

Woe is me.

lolololol

2011-02-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

totallylookslike.com