swimming

I've always wanted to be a runner. Running is something lots of people are passionate about, and I think it's something I could be passionate about, too. I really like running. The problem is that shin splints are my curse. This has been a constant battle for me, but with special shoes and delicate pacing and every-night icing and only once-a-week runs, I have recently been able to actually run three miles at a time and make this hobby a semi-part of my life. Still, I'm pretty sure my body does not want to be passionate about running.

I can't be passionate about team sports, either. I am not competitive, and I hate hate hate having someone who is competitive depending on me to hold up my end of the stick. Plus, when you have a busy schedule, it's hard to coordinate with other people so you can actually play.

I've usually spent most of my gym time on the elliptical machine. But, I'm pretty sure that "ellipticalling" is not something you can be passionate about.

Back in September, I decided to try out swimming. It was kind of tough at first—I mean, I haven't had any sort of swimming instruction since I was 5 or so, no swim teams or anything like that. Slowly but surely though, I have been getting the hang of it (I miiiiiight have watched a couple of Youtube tutorials, but shh—don't tell).

At first I was wary about swimming because I couldn't use my iPod, but it's come to be one of the things I love most about it. I am able to really clear my head and just think about nothing for forty-five minutes, which is such a stress reliever.

When fancy-schmancy swimmers who can do the butterfly stroke are in the neighboring lane, I always hope they aren't judging my novice skills. It turns out that I've just gotten a lot of encouragement instead. Yesterday, a super-toned, sinewy woman was in the lane next to me. We had matching swim caps, but other than that, I didn't pay attention to her much. However, during my second set of 20 laps, she starting swimming in-sync with me. At first I wasn't sure what to think, but then I decided it was kind of fun, and it kept me going harder. When we finished those 20 laps, this next-door stranger told me "good job!" before she got out of the pool. Then, after that, when I was sitting in the hot tub, someone else complimented me on my speed. Although I'm not sure I deserved those compliments, it was kind of nice to feel that I am no longer a novice swimmer. I mean, come on...I even have a swim cap now!

I feel so strong in the water. As my arms go over my head and my legs kick and I gasp for breath every once in awhile, I feel like I can do anything. It's crazy that spending some time in the water has the possibility to make me feel so, so grateful for the power and the strength of this body that God has given me.

Now, swimming is something I am passionate about.

be not afraid

You know those weeks when everything just seems to pile up? You have a cold, you are a stress case, you aren't getting enough sleep, you turn in 40 pages worth of research papers in five days, your friend gets diagnosed with cancer, your other friend does something that really pisses (excuse me) you off, and your uncle is in the ICU. You know, those pity-party weeks, where you spend too much time crying and your guyfriends think you are crazy and get even more confused about the way the female brain works.

Well, none of that seems to matter when you get the certain kind of phone call—the certain kind of phone call that is a game changer in all the wrong ways.

And surprisingly, all your tears are gone. Your freaking out is over, even though this is the time that freaking out would make the most sense. You just wish you could be closer, be physically there.

I guess what could be running through my head is panic. Instead, it's scripture:


Be not afraid, only believe. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

And again, I will put my trust in him.




Mark 5:36, Psalms 62:8, Isaiah 41:10, Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 2:13

family photo

the resolution of all the fruitless searches

I've been thinking a lot about love today (go figure, as it is Valentine's Day and all).

I've been thinking a lot about high school love, about falling asleep smiling to mix CDs and holding hands under blankets and shared headphones and late-night secret phone calls in my closet (sorry Dad).

I've been thinking a lot about college love, about thoughtful notes left in thoughtful places and kissing and flirty texts and dates I am excited for and walking around Provo at night holding hands.

I've been thinking a lot about unrequited love, about wearing my heart on my sleeve and being disappointed and crying into my pillow and listening to Taylor Swift and being filled with so much yearning that I finally just explode and confess it all and then everything is different.

I've been thinking a lot about hopeful love, about unexpected Valentine's packages and only being 23 (almost 24 :) and seeing my friends who once felt so alone feel so so happy and how everyone says everything will all make sense someday, and how even if it doesn't, there are people who love me right here and right now and that does matter and God loves me and I love me and life is really, truly good.

temple

Happy Birthday, Mom!

It was my wonderful mother's birthday yesterday—a big birthday. I won't say how old she is...but maybe you can guess by how many things there are on a list of reasons why I think she's great ;) 

1. She is a patient woman to happily put up with a house full of boys
2. She has beautiful dark brown hair
3. She married a good man
4. She takes her calling as a mother seriously
5. She has unwavering faith
6. She is a good baker
7. She tries recipes she thinks I will like (like Thai curry) when I come home to visit
8. She talks to me on the phone when I’m walking home from school
9. She is a pro with technology, especially Apple products 
10.  She looks way younger than her age
11. She takes her church callings seriously
12. She supports me in my decisions 
13. She is good at reminding me to pray about big decisions
14. She likes to travel
15. She gets worried about me 
16.  She is a good sister
17. She is a caring, loving daughter
18. She does lots of laundry
19. She is a better seamstress than she thinks
20. She likes spending time at the beach, even after her crazy leg accident
21. She listens to my boy drama all the time
22. She has good taste in music
23. She is quiet but steady 
24.  She encouraged me to take piano lessons
25. She develops interests in what her kids are interested in (e.g. my brothers and volleyball) 
26. She has a blog
27. She spent a lovely few days in Europe with me, even though I was no fun because I had shingles
28. She doesn’t give up even when she gets sick a lot
29. She introduced me to Dr. Pepper and Diet Coke
30. She taught me how to be frugal in my spending
31. She loves reading
32. She helped instill the love of reading in her children
33. She wants to know everything about my life
34. She is a diligent writer to her children on missions
35. She likes theme parks and roller coasters 
36. She house trained Murphy 
37.  She loves Murphy as much as the rest of us do
38. She is going to be a super fun grandmother (someday)
39. She is good at researching online
40. She is willing to try new things 
41.  Back in her twenties, she worked as a hot-shot legal secretary
42. She knows she is a daughter of God
43. She knows a lot about British history
44. She watches British miniseries with me
45. She has good taste in movies
46. She is wise 
47. She gave me the heritage of being a huge crybaby
48. She loves my dad more than anything
49. She lives her testimony 
50. She makes me excited to be a mother someday

January photos

Amelia's birthday 

 Visiting friends who camped out for a basketball game (what a bunch of crazies :)

Green smoothies!

teaching

The past few weeks have left me feeling overwhelmed, and maybe a little unconfident in my ability to be a good teacher in the future. I feel strongly about teaching, but taking all of these classes on how to teach grammar and how to teach writing and how to teach reading and trying to remember all of the bazillion things we talk about in class...it's just kind of a lot to handle.

Today I went to an actual classroom (Springville Junior High) for the first time this semester, and I feel soooo much better. I watched my mentor teacher and thought "I can do this," "this will be fun," and "this will be hard, sometimes, but this will be worth it."

"Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose"

Why is this the best show ever?

The acting is great. The music is great. The storylines are great. It feels real. Coach and Tami have the best marriage I have ever seen on television (a realistic marriage, at that), which is so refreshing since almost every other show seems to poke fun at marriage in one way or another.

It's about heart. It's about love and family and community. It's about giving of yourself to help other people grow.

I have never teared up so much throughout a whole tv show. And I also laughed a bunch, too.

When I came out of my bedroom last night and explained my red, teary eyes, my roommate asked if the finale was sad. The thing is, it wasn't—it was perfect. It was definitely the most satisfying series finale I have ever seen.

I think the funniest thing about Friday Night Lights being my favorite show of all time is that I don't even really like football (although I now understand it 10x better than I did when I started).

I found this description of the show in a review I read (which has spoilers, so don't read it if you haven't seen it), and it sums up how I feel better than I know how to say:

"There's a level of honest, raw humanity in "Friday Night Lights" that few TV dramas have ever achieved. Over and over and over, the show and its characters wore their hearts on their sleeves, in a way that somehow made them more solid than characters on other series of comparable quality.

"That rawness made the show great, but it was also likely one of the aspects (along with the high school football setting) that kept the show from being a hit, as most viewers don't turn to TV to be confronted by emotions as powerful as the ones this series brought up. Watching "Friday Night Lights" often felt like being put through a ringer. You felt like part of the town, and the team, and you bled with the characters and cried with them, and on occasion you got to soar with them, too. And a lot of people simply don't want to get that close to the fictional characters they watch - don't feel that experiencing the devastating lows is worth also getting to share in the glorious highs."

Yes, it is just a tv show. But I think it is a tv show that rises to the occasion, a tv show that exemplifies why I am passionate about the humanities and all forms of art. 


Does anyone want to move to Texas with me?

Yex

I'm feeling a little sentimental today because this little boy

is all grown up and got his mission call! He will be serving in the Argentina Buenos Aires West mission (he reports in May and is speaking Spanish).

I couldn't be more proud of him.

LOTR Love

"I can't do this, Sam."

"I know. It's all wrong. By rights, we shouldn't even be here . . . but we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."

"What are we holding onto, Sam?"

"There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."

New Years in Orange County

last-minute trip to California with Steph • afternoon on the beach • "Meow" • time with the Andre family • New Years party at Dave & Busters • 80 degree weather

Christmas Break

bronchitis and pneumonia :( • making fudge, sugar cookies, and toffee • learning how to make the family tradition of Carmellos with Aunt "Sushi" • progressive dinner tradition • Lord of the Rings marathon • hiking Camelback mountain • sleeping in • Monopoly Deal • homemade pretzels • taking Murphy for walks and car rides • back massages • drinks from QT